


Guilty Pleasures

by MissMoe



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: I don't even know how to tag for this, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) Has OCD, M/M, Rimming (implied), Toothbrushes? Seriously?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-03-10 09:18:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13499048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissMoe/pseuds/MissMoe
Summary: Levi is orally challenged, Erwin is not.Translation: Levi refuses to let Erwin rim him until...some toothbrushes are thrown into the mix.Just a silly Eruri drabble.





	Guilty Pleasures

 

“No, Erwin. I told you already: no fucking way.” Levi slams the aluminum frying pan into the sink and starts scrubbing like mad. The non-stick coating was scoured off ages ago. “Are we animals now?”

Erwin replies with the knowing insistence of a scholar, “Of course we are. All humans are animals. Nothing wrong with that. And, look, dogs lick their asses all the time. You don’t see _them_ getting sick. There’s nothing to worry about.”

Levi stares laser beams at Erwin, stormy grey eyes burning into brilliant blue. It's bad enough that he allows Erwin to put his cock inside him. That Erwin always wears a condom is Levi’s idea. Erwin would be more than happy to bareback but the thought of skin touching skin in _there_  is more than Levi can stomach. And now, he can’t believe that Erwin is suggesting something even more appalling. “You are NOT doing that to me. That is beyond disgusting.”

Erwin takes another sip of his morning coffee, gears turning smoothly in his brain. “I can make you, you know. I can tie you up while you’re asleep and do the deed.”

Levi growls, low and lethal, still scrubbing, “You are going to Hell, motherfucker. So help me God, I will put you there myself.”

“Kitten, I’ve told you a hundred billion times: life is too short for guilt. Get over yourself.”

“Who said anything about guilt? This is about _filth_ , Erwin. F-I-L-T-H. Filth.” Levi rinses the pan with blisteringly hot water but he’s so incensed he just grimaces through the pain.

“No, Levi," Erwin counters with an ardent smile, "this is about _pleasure_ , the giving and the receiving of it. Why won’t you try it with me? At least once? You’ll love it, I assure you. I have a very muscular tongue.”

“No. A thousand times NO!”

Erwin sighs in frustration, then his ridiculously thick eyebrows take flight. “We could do it in the tub! I’ll wash you nice and clean first. It won’t be gross at all.”

“Are you fucking insane?” Levi rips two paper towels off the roll and wipes his hands with a vengeance. “Don’t you know the bathroom is the germiest room in the house? And do you know what the germiest thing in the bathroom is besides the toilet?”

“Uhhh…your toothbrush?”

There is a deafening moment of silence and then Levi gasps in a breath, horror washing over him with sudden realization. “Oh god. I h-hadn’t thought of that…” He gulps and starts dry-heaving over the sink. “I was going to say the tub, but now…I…” He starts swaying on his feet and mewling, “I have to go to Walgreens…”

Erwin rushes to Levi’s side and steadies him with his hands around his slim waist. “It’s okay, baby, just breathe. That’s it: in and out, in and out. There, there, we’ll get you some new toothbrushes. You know what, we’ll go to Costco instead. How about that? They sell them in bulk there. We can buy enough so you’ll have a new one to use every day. Okay? Happy now?”

Levi nods weakly, clinging to Erwin like a drowning man on a studly piece of driftwood. He presses his ear against Erwin’s chest, lets the sound of Erwin’s steadily drumming heartbeat bring him back to sanity. “Yeah. Okay.” He whimpers when he feels Erwin kiss the top of his head, feels his huge hands caressing his back. “And…” the idea of new one-a-day toothbrushes soothing him, “…when we get back, we can try that thing you want to do…just once.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> I rarely ever do SWEET so I hope you enjoyed the high fructose corn syrup.


End file.
